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I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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