i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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