all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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