too bad you live with your parents still
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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