Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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