This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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