My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize