This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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