Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize