I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I want a musical about memes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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