don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize