he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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