your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize