I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize