I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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