I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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