Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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