Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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