i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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