the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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