I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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