You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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