On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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