direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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