I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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