Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
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I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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