I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize