I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize