Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The air was thick with penises
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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