I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize