HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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