He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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