my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize