When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize