Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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