So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize