My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize