I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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