If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just high enough for therapy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize