Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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