Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize