roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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