Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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