I could make wine with my vomit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize