I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize