Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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