I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
handjob tips. give me some.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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