wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cut my penus on the lid.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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