you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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