I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
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Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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